I can’t make stuff up this good…
Scenario:
Major website in the IT industry, very well known. Perf issue, most likely related to inefficient queries and/or indexes and stats. Site timeouts all over the place.
Sent customer a list of long running queries and got this:
{Customer} says they are in the process of getting rid of the site. He said use gum and bailing wire for the time being. Thanks for you hard work.
Sadly, I am out of gum and bailing wire. Will spit and duct tape do?
Simply amazing.
Kevin3NF